Much like Julia, I used to think fairies were harmless imaginary creatures from fun stories. That was until I learned that in the Scottish tales, faeries were often ornery, mean folk that people feared. Seeing Julia try to wrap her brain around these tales and superstitions, along with memories of Peter Pan (after all, most of us Americans think of Tinkerbell when we think of fairies or the three little fairies in Walt Disney’s version of Sleeping Beauty), and a bitter Davina making Julia feel horrible for some spilt milk, create quite the juxtaposition to start the episode.

Henry has his own juxtaposition. He hasn’t given up his search for Julia. Unfortunately, the madam at the brothel wasn’t very helpful and has a girl pretend to be British and try to deceive Henry. He doesn’t fall for it but isn’t sure if he should be disappointed to not find her or be relieved that she isn’t there.

Not withstanding, the news of Lord Lovat returning quite sours the milk for me, and not only because his most important conversations seem to happen in his throne room. At least Julia uses her excursion to appease the fairies to find a plant that creates a rash. Thankfully, it causes Lord Lovat to stay away, and Julia escapes Leathers to get thee to the apothecary, thanks to Brian’s help. If only Julia could see the letter sent from the Grants is in Henry’s hand.

Sadly, as I feared, Ellen’s success at creating a Laird Colum and Vice President Laird Dougal has not won her the position of MacKenzie Member-at-Large. Ned’s nowhere to be seen this episode so no help from the Secretary/Treasurer. Colum will not be moved on Ellen’s betrothal and gives Ellen some insight on how the Grants aren’t to be messed with. We get a name drop of a Maura Grant (any chance it’s Dougal’s future wife Maura?). Ellen is also told by Colum that the MacKenzies are going broke. So they really need Ellen to marry Malcom. Dougal isn’t much help as he’s trying his best to follow Colum.

Meanwhile, Henry has to collect the rents and charge more that the people were counting on. Henry tries his best but struggles when it means hurting tenants who don’t have enough. One tenant attacks Henry, and it triggers his PTSD. He remembers his conversation with Julia concerning the national lottery. It gives him the idea to create a lottery so that people choose to give up the coin they have instead of being forced.

Meanwhile Brian and Julia make their way to the apothecary, or so Julia thinks. While they make wonderful small-talk, Brian puts two-and-two together that Julia’s rash wasn’t real. So he takes her to Leoch to blackmail her into getting a message to Ellen. Julia informs Brian that she’s pregnant, out of fear that the baby might be hurt. They strike a deal that Brian will help her escape Leathers if Julia gets a message to Ellen. Julia sneaks in and is sent to Mrs. Fitz. She shows mercy and takes in Julia for the night. However, Julia sneakily follows Mrs. Fitz to Ellen’s room. Julia knocks on Ellen’s door and talks her into letting Julia into her room. Julia finds out about the Beltane festival and some of the legends around the standing stones. Ellen decides to take a chance and meet Brian. She takes Julia through the secret passageway to find Brian. Poor Brian asks Ellen if she’s really engaged to Malcom. She says she’ll find a way out of it. Julia makes an excellent wingwoman and helps Brian escape before Dougal finds Ellen and Brian together. Brian and Julia strike up another deal and he agrees to help her find Henry at the Beltane festival if Julia helps him steal away Ellen. Meanwhile Ellen makes her guest list for the wedding and promises to marry Malcom Grant.

Henry makes it back to the Grant estate. He’s managed to raise plenty of money, but Laird Grant isn’t so happy about it. You can tell Mr. Bug is just itching to put Henry’s head on a pike. Henry does his best to hide his hand shaking before he can exit carefully. He remembers when he and Julia picked Claire’s name. While the name Claire means light, it’s easy to see Henry is losing his. He returns to the brothel, just so he isn’t alone and lies down on the bed to sleep. Meanwhile, Lord Lovat wants some “light” from Julia. Julia lets Lovat believe it’s his baby. The webs of deception are starting to twist around and entangle Julia and Henry and block out any light for either of them. We have to hope they can find each other at the Beltane festival, just like we have to hope that Brian can find Ellen and take her away.

In many ways I relate to all four of main characters. My new teaching position has made me feel sometimes like I’m on a different planet, much like Julia and Henry. I meant to keep up with the show but so much kept pulling me away from Outlander, as well as my writing. Being on holiday break has allowed me to finally catch up and recharge with my comfort shows and movies, as well as spend time with my loved ones. After all, that’s all we want in life is to be with the ones we love. Sometimes our jobs, our commitments, can pull us farther from where our hearts truly want to be. In fact, coming back to this episode at the holidays reminds us it’s not what we have but who we have closest to us that matters. And when those that are so dear to us aren’t near, we feel adrift. Lost. Sometimes it’s at the holidays that we feel the loss the most. Some don’t come back, and only live on in our hearts.

Dram: I feel like a need a dram after this episode. I’m going with a my local favorite, Undammed Spirits. Their Thief Creek Bourbon Whiskey with notes of sweetness and caramel remind us of better days.

Comfort Food: If I had spilt the milk and didn’t have much left, I’d make this soup. It’s of my favorites, a knock off of Olive Garden, where we’re all family, Chicken & Gnocchi Soup. It’s can also simmer in a slow-cooker and do the work for you, which I’m sure Davina would have appreciated.

Song: No Air, by Jordan Sparks. This totally popped in my head as I was finishing this and it accurately describes our two couples.